An English McMansion Monstrosity

An English McMansion Mess – Deansgreen Hall, Crouchley Lane, Lymm, Cheshire, WA13 0TL, United Kingdom for sale through Jackson-Stops for £6 million – Gargantuan Cheshire ‘McMansion’ once owned by a BBC Sports Personality turned tax fraudster for sale; it’s beyond gaudy.

Gargantuan Cheshire ‘McMansion’ once owned by a BBC Sports Personality turned tax fraudster for sale; it’s a monstrosity and beyond gaudy

Somewhat generously described as “Cheshire’s most flamboyant home” by the Manchester Evening News in December 2019 and as a place where BBC Wales Sports Personality 1980 turned VAT fraudster Duncan Evans for a time “lived the life of a country squire,” Deansgreen Hall in Lymm, Cheshire has been on the market for £6 million since 2019.

Described as “architecturally unsurpassed and with a lavish interior” and an “ambassadorial style Smallbone kitchen” by selling agents Jackson-Stops, this vast English attempt at a ‘McMansion’ is quite frankly one of the most ludicrously laughable houses we’ve ever featured.

Standing on a plot of just under 11 acres where a probably perfectly charming yet subsequently bastardised residence was constructed in 1864, the ‘hall’ itself extends to about 20,000 square foot. It includes 5 reception rooms, a cinema room, a games room, a music room, an orangery and 8 en-suite bedrooms.

In addition, there is a ‘leisure suite’ with an indoor swimming pool and gym, a staff flat, a 3-bedroom lodge, a 620 square foot ‘entertaining pavilion,’ garaging for 28 cars, a helicopter hangar, kenneling and stabling.

Plainly desperate to offload this gargantuan white elephant, Jackson-Stops declare: “Our clients are looking to downsize and would consider part exchange with either another residential property or commercial property, or possibly another asset class (for instance, prestige and collectible cars, art, etc.).”

An English McMansion Monstrosity – Amateur golf champion, BBC Wales Sports Personality of the Year 1980 and tax fraudster Duncan Evans owned Deansgreen Hall from 2002 to 2003.
The entrance hall to Deansgreen Hall harks back to the past and currently features coats of armour and a model of an old sailing ship.
The dining room of the McMansion is equally “historic” in its inspiration, yet the white gloss paint scheme simply just doesn’t work.
Plainly aimed at a sale to a footballer, the cinema room – complete with its naff sparkling light ceiling and purple panels – could have been designed by the “prosecco gagging” disaster that is Dawn Ward.

The Names & Numbers – Deansgreen Hall, Crouchley Lane, Lymm, Cheshire, WA13 0TL, United Kingdom

  • March 2021 – For sale for £6 million ($8.4 million, €7 million or درهم8 million) with Jackson-Stops. Listed first with the firm circa December 2019.

 

  • June 2018 – A former policeman named Roderick Bond, whose current correspondence address for his active company Ravenstone UK Ltd., was jailed for 2 years and 8 months as a result of his involvement in a “Formula 1 film tax scam” in June 2018.

 

  • 2006 – Purchased by the current owner and “remodeled and presented in its current condition.”

 

 

  • 2002 – Sold to BBC Wales Sports Personality of the Year 1980 Duncan Evans for £1.2 million ($1.7 million, €1.4 million or درهم2 million) having reverted to private ownership in the 1990s.

 

  • 1970s – Used as “commercial offices” by Fairclough Homes.

 

  • 1864 – Original house built on the site. What remains of that, God only knows.
In November 2020, we featured what we termed “the world’s worst McMansion,” a £1.65 million horror in New Jersey. In Deansgreen Hall, we’ve definitely found something that could actually come a very close second.
The insipid white theme continues in this vaulted sitting room of the English McMansion.
A spokesperson for selling agents Jackson-Stops remarked of the McMansion’s kitchen: “The centre of the house has an ambassadorial-sized Smallbone fitted kitchen/breakfast room with large central island (with seating for 10) with sofas at one end.” Any serious chef would respond: “What a bloody impractical layout.”
The McMansion’s indoor swimming pool, surprisingly, seems relatively tame in its decorative styling.
A games room in “regal red.”
It’s back to the medieval mixed up with nautical heritage theme on the McMansion’s landing – complete with a chess board that looks like it came from Dungeons & Dragons.
The ‘master bedroom’ has an especially ghastly fireplace surround and it’s got some shagpile carpets that Jimmy Savile would have loved to have rolled around on.
The nautical touch continues in this bathroom area where also included is a tub where Prince Andrew might feel at home.
The rear elevation of the McMansion is frankly nothing but a hotchpotch and a design disaster. How many styles did the architect wish to combine?
A set of flags stands patriotically at the front of the building along with a very necessary pair of dragon statues.
Looking outwards, there’s a hint of classicism to enjoy.
The garage block and ‘lodge house’ of the McMansion resemble something found on a Barratt housing estate.
Yet more patriotism on display at England’s naffest McMansion. Nigel Farage and Ann Widdecombe would go potty.
There are two lakes that are supposedly “stuffed” with carp. Watch out, Eddie Grundy of BBC Radio 4’s ‘The Archers’ will be round to do a bit of poaching.
The entrance gates to the McMansion complete with a set of cobbles that wouldn’t look out of place on ITV1’s ‘Coronation Street.’

4 COMMENTS

  1. What a absolutely brilliant write up on this monstrosity! Seriously thou, what clientele are they aiming at to try and sell this? I think even a porn king or blind person would bulk at it! I also think that they might want to think about the selling price. If it’s been on the market since 2019 at £6 million and they haven’t dropped it, might it be that they’re being rather hopefully ambitious? I have a feeling that there won’t be a bid off for it!

  2. It’s been for sale for a while because the market for a £6m house in Cheshire (particularly outside of Alderley Edge) is almost non-existent. We’re not talking about London, Weybridge, Virginia Water or Oxshott here. There was a gorgeous 10m Georgian Hall in Antrobus that took 3.5 years to sell.

    The house has had some rather tasteless additions, but it can be rectified. The portico is obviously hideous, but it can be demolished. A lot of the interior stuff can be simply gutted and redecorated. These alterations would cost a fraction of the house price and would improve it immeasurably. The tasteless neoclassical stone ornaments, the over-the-top patriotism/nationalism and the obsession with all things naval can be easily removed.

    The lodge/garage block may not be aesthetically pleasing but would be very handy for someone with a large car collection.

    There are far worse houses on Rightmove. Like this one: https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/110944292#/?channel=RES_BUY

    Video here: https://vimeo.com/575818690

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