A Christmas Nightmare

“Mini castle” in Pennsylvania goes on sale in time for Christmas for 512% more than it sold for in 2000 in spite of its decoration being nightmare nasty

The most expensive property The Steeple Times featured in terms of price per square foot in 2020 was a 713 square foot one-bedroom pad in a development on the former Chelsea Barracks site in London, SW1.

 

Whilst that tiny and completely “lacking in room to swing a cat” space was ludicrously marketed at a sum of £3.5 million or £4,909 per square foot, for just £221,000 or £61 per square foot a buyer with the ability to see round a decorating disaster could bag themselves what agents Howard Hanna term a “mini castle” and “Victorian colonial” in Upper Darby, Pennsylvania.

 

Presented “Christmas ready” in spite of the fact it will likely languish on the market for months given how nightmare nasty it is inside, 26 Cloverdale Avenue (AKA ‘The Castle on Cloverdale Avenue’) was built in 1902. The 3,678 square foot house stands on a plot of 0.35 acres and includes 4 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms, but what gets Howard Hanna going is the Venetian portico and balcony that they boldly claim is “envied by Juliet herself” even.

 

We’ll let the pictures of 26 Cloverdale Avenue speak for themselves, but of its location there’s not much to note. David Bowie recorded his first live album in Upper Darby in July 1974, but beyond that there’s nothing to attract anyone to a horror of a house that’s being promoted for 512% more than it sold for in 2000.

                                 

A Christmas Nightmare – The Numbers – 26 Cloverdale Avenue, Upper Darby, Delaware County, Pennsylvania, PA 19082, United States of America

 

December 2020 – Listed for sale in time for Christmas for £221,000 ($300,000, €246,000 or درهم1.1 million), a sum 512% higher than the sale price twenty years prior, through Howard Hanna Real Estate Services.

 

April 2000 – Sold for £36,000 ($49,000, €40,000 or درهم180,000).

 

Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes

Twitter: @SteepleTimes

 

The sitting room has been tiled in a clinical fashion and is filled with leather seating you’d expect to see in the waiting room area of a brothel. The fireplace surround is, quite frankly, dreadful.
Whoever fitted the kitchen decided to plonk a three-tier open shelf in an odd position above the fridge. Plainly, given it is bloody hard to reach, nobody has or will ever use it.
Described as a “bonus room” (though what’s a “bonus” about it we cannot fathom), this space is set up as a home cinema. The owner’s decision to stencil “Live Well, Laugh Often, Love Much” on the wall is equally curious.
The staging of the dining table with a Christmas cloth and tree won’t be of much help when the house is still on sale in July 2021.
That the agents decided that a metal device probably used for torture in a utility room was worth photographing speaks volumes.
The owners went to lengths to tuck in the sheets for this room’s photo session. The tiled flooring is especially welcoming, but any buyer will no doubt want to put in a bid for the tasteful bedroom set.
Another bedroom – with its nasty nets – looks like it could be in use by a hooker. The floors, after all, are easy to scrub.
Perhaps the internal front door with locks and a knocker is in place to ensure “clients” bang before entering.
Bizarrely in this room dedicated to Wonder Woman, somebody’s gone to town colouring in a few of the white tiles.
The rear decked area may appeal to rats and termites this Christmas, but it’s hardly an architectural triumph.
The agent belives this balcony is something “even Juliet would have envied,” but that’s about one of the only things about this train wreck of a house that she’d have got excited about in its current state.
There’s more chance of Chris Rea making it home for Christmas than someone buying this crib in the near future.
Matthew Steeples
A graduate of the London School of Economics, Matthew Steeples is a writer and marketing consultant. He conceived The Steeple Times as a media arena to fill the void between the Mail Online, The Huffington Post and such organs as the New York Social Diary in 2012.
Advertisement

4 COMMENTS

  1. I’ve been in total bah humbug mood these last few days — stir crazy in New York…. and this has quite cheered me up. The basic structure looks as though it has potential, if you’d want to live in the middle of nowhere, but the interiors? Deliciously naff. Thanks for sharing.

  2. What made them tile every floor? I bet the floorboards were beautiful.

    As for the kitchen, that cabinet!

    And the leather chairs.

    Wrecking ball Rod definitely needed.

  3. I have to say, I have been to this house when it was on the market in 2000, I even put an offer on the house to purchase. This house is now so much more than it was when I looked at it. When I walked this house in 2000, I thought I was on a stage set of the Nick Cage movie 8mm. The dipshit who wrote this article has no idea what he is talking about and totally off base. Go find someone else to attack, you liberal scum. Did you ever think of the zip code and the family that lived there? upgrading the property the best they could within their means? Not everyone is a privileged piece of crap like you! This house needs help yes, and has a lot of potential. For the next owner to fix her up, will have a wonderful property and many storied to tell. As for the writer of the article? Go choke on a gas pipe.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Advertisement

£1 per week Supports The Steeple Times

Help journalism to remain honest & independent. You can make a difference to the world today.

2,781FansLike
2,068FollowersFollow
11,770FollowersFollow

Subscribe For DAILY NEWS

Please subscribe, like and share this unique site, it helps us tremendously. The Steeple Times in return will send you an email at noon each and everyday, that we sincerely hope you will enjoy & look forward to seeing in your inbox.

AD
Advertisement

Recent and Popular

(Un)Signed Ghislaine

Crowdfunder for documentary supporting alleged mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell fails to sign up a single supporter just as signs go up at her former home about filming and dog pee.

Bosie – Stop Clowning Around

Matthew Steeples suggests Boris Johnson needs to stop clowning around and tell the truth about his strategy to fight COVID-19 and Omicron this winter.

Ghislaine Maxwell – A Genuinely Poisonous Apple

References to Adam and Eve from Ghislaine Maxwell’s defence team ignore the fact she is a genuinely poisonous apple; references to Jeffrey Epstein being like James Bond are equally ludicrous suggests Matthew Steeples.

Lowbrow Lindsay Lohan Reaches A New Low

When you thought lowbrow loser Lindsay Lohan couldn’t go any lower, the ‘celebutard’ predictably delivers.

Ghislaine Maxwell’s Day Of Destiny

As Ghislaine Maxwell faces her day of destiny at the ‘trial of the century,’ her brother ridiculously claims their pension robbing father’s “reputation was trashed beyond belief” and announces of his sister: “This time, let’s bring this ship home.”

Rolling With Karl Lagerfeld

Three Rolls-Royces that belonged to the late designer Karl Lagerfeld to be auctioned by Sotheby’s; the eccentric never drove them himself.

Moron of the Moment – Amanda Platell

Paedophile and sex offender apologist Amanda Platell’s claims that the BBC “conned” her into an interview about the royals are beyond laughable.

Hero of the Hour – Haider Malik

Unemployed graduate Haider Malik’s decision to seek work by standing with a pop-up-stall outside Canary Wharf tube station paid off with a top job offer.

Over a Million Views

Who REALLY is Omid Scobie?

An examination of the true character traits of the Duchess of Sussex’s PR peddling biased ‘bestie’ Omid Scobie by Nikolay Kalinin.

Justice for James Scurlock

Power of social media proven after senseless killing of James Scurlock in Omaha, Nebraska allegedly by a controversial bar owner named Jake Gardner who has been photographed with Donald Trump.

Moron of the Moment – Prince Harry

With his marriage to the woman formerly known as Meghan Markle, Prince Harry has morphed into an utter bore   Prince Harry used to be a fun loving sort. He boozed, partied and enjoyed playing pranks. Now, having married ‘Murky Mucky Mendacious Meg,’ it seems those days are over.   Supposedly, according to...

Scobie Orf!

‘MeGain’s’ bestie Omid Scobie deservedly gets slammed by ‘Yankee Wally’ Sadie Quinlan for getting her shut down on Twitter; this childish chap should now just ‘belt up, wrap up and shut up.’

A Massive Media Maelstrom – McCann, Mandelson and Maxwell

Matthew Steeples highlights how the ‘Mandelson Media Method’ is very much in play in both the case of the Prince Andrew-Jeffrey Epstein connection and the renewed interest in the Madeleine McCann disappearance.

Moron of the Moment 2021 – Richard Madeley

As the new Diana, Princess of Wales statue is mocked as looking like him, ‘Dorian Gray of Daytime Telly’ Richard Madeley pathetically claims he got PTSD due to worrying about his son’s wedding.

Weather

London
light rain
4.8 ° C
5.7 °
3.8 °
87 %
2.2kmh
90 %
Sun
7 °
Mon
6 °
Tue
6 °
Wed
7 °
Thu
6 °
Exit mobile version