Clangers overheard and snippets spotted by readers of ‘The Steeple Times’
At The Goring Hotel in Victoria an aspiring female model met with a man who could potentially become her agent. After asking: “Are you photogenic?” and “are you an English rose?” the man remarked on the young lady’s future potential. He concluded: “In a couple of years, you could be doing the young mum thing… You’re 29… Do lingerie”.
A pongy room
On the website SpareRoom, someone named Toni Petrov offered a room. Their advert promised a room with “free sweat” for £750 per month in West Kensington. A TV, WiFi and a “mini kitchen” are also said to be included. Send in the LYNX.
Branding an AGA
In The Sunday Times, Camilla Long shared her views on Russell Brand having bought a chocolate box property named Thatched Cottage at Mile End Reach, near Henley-on-Thames (featured in The Steeple Times whilst on the market in July 2014). She pointed out: “Russell Brand’s new home in Oxfordshire has an AGA: how radical. Yes, Russell Brand owns an AGA”. Might he become the next Mary Berry?
Looking like Ava
At the V&A, reader Ethel Jones observed an old man sat having a coffee in the central courtyard. He engaged in conversation with a mother and child who’d joined him at his table and asked: “Did you know that Ava Gardner lived in Ennismore Gardens? Just over there”. “Oh”, came the answer before he curtly added: “And did you know she was an utter slut?” The woman covered her child’s ears and responded: “And who on earth are you? Victor Meldrew”. The old man turned to her and put her in her place with the answer: “I don’t believe it… You look like Ava Gardner yourself”.
Cake with the Krays
After the woman promptly departed, a man took her place at the table. The old man chose his moment and began sharing yet more pearls of wisdom: “I had an experience with the Kray twins’ mother once. She moved in next door to my family and I found her prescription in the street. I took it round and she thanked me. Later, she sent round Ronnie and he brought me a cake. For once in my life, I was speechless”.
Submit comments you hear to firstname.lastname@example.org. We publish amusing and ridiculous chatter we receive and sometimes we change names and locations to protect the identities of the vain and the vacuous.
Subscribe to our free once daily email newsletter here:[wysija_form id=”1″]