Overheard: 8th September

Classic clangers from the last week

 

A high journal

An American banker sat with his friends in the garden of The Phene in Chelsea on a Saturday afternoon was overheard stating: “You know one of the main New York newspapers trades stock for cocaine. Could you imagine the headlines? The calls came from one of our customers and they said: ‘We want a report from you to tell us which traders did this’. Totally true, you know. One bitch working for us called the FBI; what a stupid cow. She could have just kept shtum and they’d have let her get high”.

 

Amused by Edina

At Amuse Bouche in Parson’s Green an American named Lucinda was overheard introducing a group of friends. Of one she commented: “Ya, darlings, Bertie used to work with me in PR darlings. He’s from Boston. Isn’t that fab?” Who did she think she was? Edina Monsoon?

 

Hedging a Rolls

In The Coburg Bar at The Connaught in Mayfair a young man who’d just started working at a nearby hedge fund was overheard lamenting how difficult he was finding his demanding bosses and the long hours he was having to work. His father responded with a good piece of advice: “When things don’t happen right away, just remember that it takes 6 months to build a Rolls-Royce and 13 hours to build a Toyota”. The young man smiled and his father laughed.

 

London taxi drivers are not renowned for their patience

Music in taxis

On Facebook one exotically named Theodore L. Nichols Jr. shared a story about a request from a Muslim to a London cab driver to turn off their radio:

 

A devout Arab Muslim entered a black cab… He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio because as decreed by his religious teachings he must not listen to music because in the time of the prophet there was no music, especially Western music which is the music of the infidel.

 

The cab driver politely switched off the radio, stopped the cab and opened the passenger’s door.

 

The Arab Muslim asked him: “What are you doing?”

 

The cabbie answered: “In the time of the prophet there were no taxis, so piss off and wait for a camel”.

 

Nichols Jr. concluded: “You’ve got to love the Brits”.

 

Training a pub

In a Wiltshire pub one of our horse racing loving readers from Chelsea overheard a customer chatting with the publican. He said: “Did you hear that Richard Hannon is rumoured to be buying The Shears at Collingbourne Ducis?” Another customer piped in and shouted down the bar: “What? Again?”

 

Irish cob

On a train to London from Reading a middle aged woman was overheard chatting with her mother. She said: “I bloody washed my teeth before we came out but then I ate corn on the cob”. Her mother’s eyes glazed over and she responded: “What’s wrong with you? Are you bloody Irish?”

 

Submit comments you overhear to editorial@thesteepletimes.com. We publish the best we receive once a week.

 

 

Subscribe to our free once daily email newsletter here:

    Success! Thanks for Your Request.
    Error! Please Try Again.

     

    The Steeple Times
    We research and background check our articles. If you believe we have made and error in some detail please get in touch, we seek always to write the truth and stand against a press owned by a self selected few. Please help us, we will accept all your likes, subscriptions and anonymous suport. The Editor and his team at the Steeple Times.
    Advertisement

    LEAVE A REPLY

    Please enter your comment!
    Please enter your name here

    Advertisement

    £1 per week Supports The Steeple Times

    Help journalism to remain honest & independent. You can make a difference to the world today.

    2,780FansLike
    2,068FollowersFollow
    11,766FollowersFollow

    Subscribe For DAILY NEWS

    Please subscribe, like and share this unique site, it helps us tremendously. The Steeple Times in return will send you an email at noon each and everyday, that we sincerely hope you will enjoy & look forward to seeing in your inbox.

    AD
    Advertisement

    Recent and Popular

    (Un)Signed Ghislaine

    Crowdfunder for documentary supporting alleged mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell fails to sign up a single supporter just as signs go up at her former home about filming and dog pee.

    Bosie – Stop Clowning Around

    Matthew Steeples suggests Boris Johnson needs to stop clowning around and tell the truth about his strategy to fight COVID-19 and Omicron this winter.

    Ghislaine Maxwell – A Genuinely Poisonous Apple

    References to Adam and Eve from Ghislaine Maxwell’s defence team ignore the fact she is a genuinely poisonous apple; references to Jeffrey Epstein being like James Bond are equally ludicrous suggests Matthew Steeples.

    Lowbrow Lindsay Lohan Reaches A New Low

    When you thought lowbrow loser Lindsay Lohan couldn’t go any lower, the ‘celebutard’ predictably delivers.

    Ghislaine Maxwell’s Day Of Destiny

    As Ghislaine Maxwell faces her day of destiny at the ‘trial of the century,’ her brother ridiculously claims their pension robbing father’s “reputation was trashed beyond belief” and announces of his sister: “This time, let’s bring this ship home.”

    Rolling With Karl Lagerfeld

    Three Rolls-Royces that belonged to the late designer Karl Lagerfeld to be auctioned by Sotheby’s; the eccentric never drove them himself.

    Moron of the Moment – Amanda Platell

    Paedophile and sex offender apologist Amanda Platell’s claims that the BBC “conned” her into an interview about the royals are beyond laughable.

    Hero of the Hour – Haider Malik

    Unemployed graduate Haider Malik’s decision to seek work by standing with a pop-up-stall outside Canary Wharf tube station paid off with a top job offer.

    Over a Million Views

    Who REALLY is Omid Scobie?

    An examination of the true character traits of the Duchess of Sussex’s PR peddling biased ‘bestie’ Omid Scobie by Nikolay Kalinin.

    Justice for James Scurlock

    Power of social media proven after senseless killing of James Scurlock in Omaha, Nebraska allegedly by a controversial bar owner named Jake Gardner who has been photographed with Donald Trump.

    Moron of the Moment – Prince Harry

    With his marriage to the woman formerly known as Meghan Markle, Prince Harry has morphed into an utter bore   Prince Harry used to be a fun loving sort. He boozed, partied and enjoyed playing pranks. Now, having married ‘Murky Mucky Mendacious Meg,’ it seems those days are over.   Supposedly, according to...

    Scobie Orf!

    ‘MeGain’s’ bestie Omid Scobie deservedly gets slammed by ‘Yankee Wally’ Sadie Quinlan for getting her shut down on Twitter; this childish chap should now just ‘belt up, wrap up and shut up.’

    A Massive Media Maelstrom – McCann, Mandelson and Maxwell

    Matthew Steeples highlights how the ‘Mandelson Media Method’ is very much in play in both the case of the Prince Andrew-Jeffrey Epstein connection and the renewed interest in the Madeleine McCann disappearance.

    Moron of the Moment 2021 – Richard Madeley

    As the new Diana, Princess of Wales statue is mocked as looking like him, ‘Dorian Gray of Daytime Telly’ Richard Madeley pathetically claims he got PTSD due to worrying about his son’s wedding.

    Weather

    London
    few clouds
    1.4 ° C
    3 °
    -1 °
    77 %
    0.5kmh
    11 %
    Thu
    2 °
    Fri
    8 °
    Sat
    6 °
    Sun
    6 °
    Mon
    8 °
    Exit mobile version