Clangers overheard and snippets spotted by readers of ‘The Steeple Times’
In a departure from our normal mix, all of this week’s clangers come from a duo overheard at a bar. Both are Chelsea toffs – or consider themselves such – and both were a little beyond over refreshed.
On state schools:
The blonde: “State schools only teach World War Two”.
The baldy: “I’m not surprised. They’re all so left wing, the teachers”.
The blonde: “No. It’s because it’s easier. They only want to teach the popular and the easy”.
The baldy: “And the anti-fascist. And the pro-communist. Close ‘em all down”.
On the Catholic Church:
The baldy: “The Catholic Church are like the Brexiteers. They just wanted to take back control.
The blonde: “No. They just want to protect the paedophiles”.
On fancy dress:
The blonde: “Fancy dress parties are only for people without the ability to make no conversation”.
The baldy: “Oh. Really? I went to one last week”.
On the Mail Online:
The blonde: “I do read the Mail Online every morning. I’ll admit it. People think I’m posh but in my heart I know I want to live like a chav”.
On Scottish devolution:
The baldy: “In Scotland you’ve got two lezzers. I’d say it’s time for a male revolution”.
On war:
The baldy: “You never know who’s sitting where when there is a war. For f**k’s sake. War is war. Bring on the next one”.
On joining a bishop:
The baldy: “I joined the Bishop of Exeter once”.
The blonde: “What? Like joining the Masons?”
The baldy: “No like joining him for dinner”.
On David Cameron:
The baldy: “David Cameron should be locked up for crimes against the Conservative Party. People want Tony Blair locked up. I want that pr**k locked up in the cell next door”.
On Jeremy Corbyn:
The blonde: “Now, Corbyn… He’s Hitler reincarnated. Just accept it”.
Submit comments you hear to editorial@thesteepletimes.com. We publish amusing and ridiculous chatter we receive and sometimes we change names and locations to protect the identities of the vain and the vacuous.
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