Clangers overheard and snippets spotted by readers of ‘The Steeple Times’
Missing the Phoenixes
In Pret South Kensington, several parents sat chatting whilst their noisy children ran riot. One father remarked: “We had to call the kids ‘Rain’ and ‘River’ because… Well, it’s obvious, isn’t it?” Another dad, plainly perplexed and plainly without an ounce of knowledge of the acting dynasty in question, answered: “Is it ‘cause you like water? Is it?”
Dead WiFi
At a funeral Justin Wheeler overheard one mourner ask a priest: “What’s the WiFi password?” He answered: “Respect the dead”. The mourner, unabashed, continued: “All lowercase?”
Brexit means Brexit
At Sexy Fish in Berkeley Square two ladies that lunch discussed Theresa May’s first hundred days in office. One stated: “Well, she did come up with a radical idea”. The other: “What’s that?” The answer: “The radical idea that a thing means what it is”.
Mail Bible
At The Steeple Times’ debate at 12 Hay Hill a panelist enquired of a journalist: “Are you religious?” The chair responded: “The Daily Mail is her bible. The only bible she’ll ever need”.
Banishing the Brexit Brainbox
The now infamous ‘Brexit Brainbox’ returned to La Brasserie in spite of having upset the staff by blaming immigrants for utterly everything wrong in the world. Told she was not welcome and refused a glass of champagne, she angrily responded: “It couldn’t have been me who said that. I’m half Italian, half Turkish and I like champagne and that’s foreign”. The irony.
Submit comments you hear to editorial@thesteepletimes.com. We publish amusing and ridiculous chatter we receive and sometimes we change names and locations to protect the identities of the vain and the vacuous.