Thursday, January 20, 2022

Overheard: 21st April

Classic clangers from the last week

 

Banker bashing

A banker awaiting trial was overheard in the bar at The Connaught chatting to a financial advisor. He stated: “I invested in a bookies, a hotel in Switzerland. I did my brains. I put money in a gin company. I did loads of little ones. They were straight investments. It wasn’t that sophisticated”. The advisor responded: What angle you should use is that you were conned. You should say: ‘I know how to wire a socket. I know how to change a light’ and then you should say: ‘It don’t make me an electrician’. Continue: ‘I know what an ISA is. It don’t make me a tax expert’. If you do that, you’ll get away with it. It’s just a bit of banker bashing”. Delusional perhaps?

 

Losing the geography

Two rather large American ladies sat at the bar in La Brasserie in South Kensington talked about working on Rhianna’s tour. The first commented: “She was in her dressing room and she wanted Mongolian food. We ordered Moroccan. Why the f**k did she complain?” The second responded: “I haven’t got an effing clue”. Here’s a duo that deserve to be given maps for Christmas.

 

Beat that Patrick Bateman
Beat that Patrick Bateman

 

Outcarded

An American in the bar at the Bulgari told his Italian friend: “My card is embossed and it is definitely as good as Patrick Bateman’s but a guy gave me his and I was outdone. It was A4 in size and embossed. I had to hole punch it to file it. Turns out he was a f**king dictator. He lives somewhere in Africa in a little hut but the little b*****d managed to out business card me”. The shame.

 

Mugging the money

An Essex businessman lunching with a lady “friend” in Langan’s in Mayfair chatted about his last holiday: “We went to Zermatt. It’s expensive there. That’s why my mistress liked it. We hired a chalet. It cost me £15,000 a night. All in, what I reckon, ten days in Zermatt was £40,000 per head. I was a mug. I didn’t even get sex once”. His lunching partner plainly, equally, was there for this character’s delightful company.

 

Bigging it up

A pair of club promoters chatted about their next event in La Bottega in Pont Street. The first commented: “The tables are around this area. We’ll cram in as many as we can. Put them all together. Let’s rape them. Money, bookings, I don’t give a shit. A minimum table spend is £1,000. We don’t want losers who spend £500. They are a waste of space. Either way, I want £1,000 people . Shame on those losers that spend just £500. They don’t understand that you’ve got to spend big”.

 

Targeted

The second promoter continued: “It is wrong just to invite everyone to an event. Target Facebook. Target names. Target everybody. If you don’t target, you fail. We only want the £1,000 crowd”. We’re certain the world and his wife will clamber to attend.

 

 

Subscribe to our free once daily email newsletter here:

     

    The Steeple Times
    We research and background check our articles. If you believe we have made and error in some detail please get in touch, we seek always to write the truth and stand against a press owned by a self selected few. Please help us, we will accept all your likes, subscriptions and anonymous suport. The Editor and his team at the Steeple Times.
    Advertisement

    1 COMMENT

    1. Is nowhere safe from vulgarians these days? The Connaught must have slipped as it was one of the more discerning establishments where, effectively, one had to be introduced..

    LEAVE A REPLY

    Please enter your comment!
    Please enter your name here

    Advertisement

    £1 per week Supports The Steeple Times

    Help journalism to remain honest & independent. You can make a difference to the world today.

    2,793FansLike
    2,068FollowersFollow
    12,028FollowersFollow

    Subscribe For DAILY NEWS

    Please subscribe, like and share this unique site, it helps us tremendously. The Steeple Times in return will send you an email at noon each and everyday, that we sincerely hope you will enjoy & look forward to seeing in your inbox.

    AD
    Advertisement

    Recent and Popular

    Prince Andrew Pizza Express social media Bernie Ecclestone

    Not So Social Randy Andy

    As Prince Andrew loses yet more responsibilities, quits social media and plunges deeper into debt, we suggest he turns to one of his last remaining chums, the notoriously noxious skinflint Bernie Ecclestone.
    Lady Victoria Hervey Ghislaine Maxwell

    Moron of the Moment 2022 – Lady Victoria Hervey

    Lady Victoria Hervey’s latest airing to share irrelevant claims about Ghislaine Maxwell simply show her lack of connection with the real story; this tedious twerp ought to now learn the art of silence.
    GB News National Anthem

    Nationalistic Nonsense – National Anthem & GB News

    Failing GB News’ attempt at becoming more patriotic by playing the National Anthem daily gets slated; dimwit Darren Grimes, of course, had to weigh in.
    Rights Responsibilities Duke and Duchess of Sussex Ginge and Cringe

    Responsibilities, Rights & Ginge & Cringe

    Matthew Steeples suggests the Duke and Duchess of York should finally accept that when they gave up on responsibilities, they gave up their rights to privileges also; they do not deserve UK police protection.
    Julian Moss Lambourne Estate South Portland

    Moss Moves On

    British vodka baron Julian Moss to sell his spectacular £15.8 million riverfront country estate just an hour from Sydney in Australia.
    BYOB Veganuary at Wetherspoons

    Picture of the Week 2022 – BYOB Veganuary at Wetherspoons

    As horrendously nutty ex-MEP Roger Helmer bangs on about having a burger at Wetherspoons, an image of PM Boris Johnson and the chain’s boss Tim Martin at a BYOB at 10 Downing Street trends on Twitter; we also remind readers of Helmer’s past antics.
    Bathtub Bonk Pad Prince Andrew Ghislaine Maxwell 44 Kinnerton Street

    Flipping Randy Andy’s Bathtub Bonk Pad

    WORLD EXCLUSIVE – Ghislaine Maxwell’s Belgravia bonk pad – where Prince Andrew allegedly shockingly had it off with Virginia Roberts in the bath in 2001 – is relisted for £2.6 million just months after it sold for £1.75 million in April 2021; we share the first ever seen photos of that famous tub and ask: “Does its presence add value?”
    Finickity Facebook La Panza restaurant Riccardo Damiani

    Finickity Facebook Goes to War on Rustic Restaurateur

    Finickity ‘Angry People in Local Newspapers’ Facebook group members get it completely wrong in attacking a restaurateur fined for putting up a poster advertising work at his Italian in Bristol.

    Over a Million Views

    Omid Scobie Meghan Markle Duchess of Sussex Finding Freedom

    Who REALLY is Omid Scobie?

    An examination of the true character traits of the Duchess of Sussex’s PR peddling biased ‘bestie’ Omid Scobie by Nikolay Kalinin.
    Justice for James Scurlock – Power of social media proven after the senseless murder of James Scurlock in Omaha, Nebraska allegedly by a bar owner Jake Gardner who has been photographed with Donald Trump.

    Justice for James Scurlock

    Power of social media proven after senseless killing of James Scurlock in Omaha, Nebraska allegedly by a controversial bar owner named Jake Gardner who has been photographed with Donald Trump.
    Moron of the Moment – Prince Harry – With his marriage to the former Meghan Markle, Prince Harry has morphed into an utter bore.

    Moron of the Moment – Prince Harry

    With his marriage to the woman formerly known as Meghan Markle, Prince Harry has morphed into an utter bore   Prince Harry used to be a fun loving sort. He boozed, partied and enjoyed playing pranks. Now, having married ‘Murky Mucky Mendacious Meg,’ it seems those days are over.   Supposedly, according to...
    Omid Scobie Sadie Quinlan Yankee Wally

    Scobie Orf!

    ‘MeGain’s’ bestie Omid Scobie deservedly gets slammed by ‘Yankee Wally’ Sadie Quinlan for getting her shut down on Twitter; this childish chap should now just ‘belt up, wrap up and shut up.’
    A Massive Media Maelstrom – McCann, Mandelson and Maxwell – Matthew Steeples highlights how the ‘Mandelson Media Method’ is very much in play in both the case of the Prince Andrew-Jeffrey Epstein connection and the renewed interest in the Madeleine McCann disappearance.

    A Massive Media Maelstrom – McCann, Mandelson and Maxwell

    Matthew Steeples highlights how the ‘Mandelson Media Method’ is very much in play in both the case of the Prince Andrew-Jeffrey Epstein connection and the renewed interest in the Madeleine McCann disappearance.
    Plane Perverted – Name of 9-year-old on Jeffrey Epstein lap revealed – Previously unnamed 9-year-old child pictured on the lap of Jeffrey Epstein on his plane in ‘Daily Mail’ suggested to be daughter of billionaire Glenn Dubin.

    Plane Perverted

    EXCLUSIVE – Previously unnamed 9-year-old child pictured on the lap of Jeffrey Epstein on his plane in ‘Daily Mail’ suggested to be daughter of billionaire Glenn Dubin.

    Weather

    London
    broken clouds
    4.2 ° C
    5 °
    2.9 °
    66 %
    4.1kmh
    75 %
    Thu
    4 °
    Fri
    6 °
    Sat
    6 °
    Sun
    6 °
    Mon
    6 °