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Don’t You Know Who I Am?

The Steeple Times
Don’t You Know Who I Am? Carmen Jordá eclipsed by Paris Hilton – Woman dressed in a set of curtains makes a prat of herself at Bibendum in South Kensington; Paris Hilton saunters in later holding hands with Caroline ‘#JustSaying’ Stanbury

Woman dressed in a set of curtains makes a prat of herself at Bibendum in South Kensington; Paris Hilton saunters in later holding hands with Caroline ‘#JustSaying’ Stanbury

We sadly live in an era of selfies and reality television, but on Thursday an especially vacuous wench named Carmen Jordá made an utter prat of herself by posing for 40 minutes for photographs on the pavement outside Bibendum in South Kensington.

 

Dumb blonde Jordá, dressed in a disgusting off-pink outfit resembling a set of worn out curtains from the set of Dynasty, sat both inside and posed outside a Wiesmann convertible, but did not take a breath of air. Shamelessly this self-promoting sort clicked her fingers at her personal photographer – a nobody dressed in an equally ghastly matching pink jacket – and choregraphed her every move. An equally odd woman, one Erica Pelosini, joined in (dressed in a darker shade of pink and resembling Cruella de Ville on crack) and flashed her black underwear as she got in and out of the car.

 

A Dowager Duchess and her daughters sat on looking in astonishment. One stated: “I don’t want to bitch, but here’s mutton dressed as lamb.” A visitor from Egypt at the next table added: “These two are more like Cinderella’s sisters.” Spot on.

 

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Paris Hilton arriving at the event with Caroline ‘#JustSaying’ Stanbury.
Paris Hilton leaving the event with Caroline ‘#JustSaying’ Stanbury.
Carmen ‘I don’t travel without my personal photographer in coordinated clothing’ Jordá.
Carmen ‘Plainly a woman who has to be photographed from all angles’ Jordá.
‘I must show off my big butt’ Carmen Jordá.
‘Time for yet another pose’ Carmen Jordá.
Polish friend of Jackie Branston and wife of Norwegian billionaire Bjarne Rieber joins in on the action and takes pictures of Carmen Jordá from the pavement.
The paparazzi had no interest in Carmen Jordá but went mental for ‘One Night in Paris.’
Another guest decided to dress as Big Bird.
Leading gatecrasher ‘Mr Frizzy’ put in an appearance (but did not make it upstairs to the actual party). “Where was David Pun?” asked one present. After all, #NoPunNoParty.
Two guests plainly who’d plainly been to PoundLand for their outfits.
Another decided to show her more than ample derriere. Kim Kardashian would have been proud.
A Miss Trunchbull lookalike also put in an appearance.
Meanwhile, Carmen Jordá just continued to pose and pose and pose a little more.
A local looked on and laughed.
But all the PoundLand bird wanted to do was pose.
And all Cinderella’s ugly sister wanted to do was to go to the ball.
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