A Coked-Up Cheshire Cat

Notorious prosecco “gag reflexer” and Sinitta “napkin slapper” Dawn Ward resurfaces; the Cheshire cat has been charged with racial abuse and coke possession

Just as everyone rejoiced after believing they’d heard the last of the dastardly dope that is Dawn Ward, the old trout had to go and resurface.


Featured in the MailOnline this morning, the creosoted creature and supposed Real Housewives of Cheshire ‘star’ Ward appeared at the Inner London Crown Court yesterday via videolink for a pre-trial hearing where she was told she is now set to face trial in March 2022. She is charged with the racially aggravated harassment of two Jewish brothers and possession of a Class A drug, cocaine, at Euston Railway Station on 29th October 2019.


Like fellow brawling bigot Marie-Claire, Baroness von Alvensleben, brassy Mrs Ward – a potty mouthed wench prone to telling anyone whom dares to put in her rightful place in the sewer to “do one” – has previous experience at Hammersmith Magistrates’ Court. She was convicted of assault after attacking the singer Sinitta Malone in a “fish fueled fight” in June 2016.


Of her impending trial, a spokesman for “Bet Lynch on steroids” told The Sun:


“She vehemently denies these allegations and looks forward to clearing her name in court when the full facts can be made public.”


For her sake, Cheshire cat Ward would do best to avoid using the same inept legal representatives as in 2016. They failed to get her off what appeared a pretty weak charge and what she herself described as a “storm in a tea cup.”


At the time, of the “napkin slapping” over talk of her husband “sleeping around” episode district judge Elizabeth Roscoe remarked: “I’m satisfied that when Mrs Ward prodded or poked Miss Malone it was an assault by beating and was unlawful, although the force was minimal, not strong. Therefore, I find the case proven.”




Pictured top: Plastic not fantastic Dawn Ward takes to pointing a finger when she doesn’t get her way; she has previously been accused of napkin slapping and now faces a trial for a bit of racism and drug possession also.


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A Coked-Up Cheshire Cat – Dawn Ward with her ex-footballer husband Ashley Ward (left) and dressed up in fetish gear with what one might politely term “a gimp” (right). Here’s one classy bird. Not.
A Coked-Up Cheshire Cat – Mrs Ward has been trying to sell her gaudily decorated Cheshire home, Warford Hall, Great Warford, near Alderley Edge, Cheshire, SK9 7TU for years. Though she reduced the price from £15 million to £12 million, there have thus far, unsurprisingly, been no takers for this vulgarian’s Victorian. Its appearances on the ‘Real Housewives of Cheshire’ did nothing to aid its sale and it was here that during an interview with the ‘Mirror’ this classy creature charmingly announced: “I don’t do Prosecco, babe, only the real stuff. I have a gag reflex if anyone tries to hand me a glass of that s***.”
A Coked-Up Cheshire Cat – Queen of fake Dawn Ward (right) with fellow ‘Real Housewives of Cheshire’ participant Leanne Brown and some astounded looking semi-nude waiters. Mrs Brown later went to “war” on Mrs Ward after claiming she owed her £500,000.

View Comments

  • Send this one Down Under right now for punishment!!!!!!! And Leanne Brown and Dawn's booby daughter too!!!!!!!!!!! I want to put them all over my knee for a bit of arse slapping!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They sound well up for it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They're all plastic anyway, so it won't hurt them!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yummy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • I have seen Dawn Ward around and she's so loud. She cackles like a hyena on crack --- and now we know why. Too much time in the powder room!

  • Not her again! I'd heard she'd got the virus and was dead. Damn! She brings eternal shame on the surname Ward.

  • "Creosoted creature" - She could do brand endorsement for that stuff. She does like a fence, a rotten one.

  • Dear Matthew, please, please add 'secretive' like and dislike buttons to this section. It doesn't need the Facebook approach – after all, who actually 'cares', or genuinely cries, or really wants to give someone a slap? But since so many commenters make one smile or spit blood, it changes day-to-day, but it would bloomin' marvellous if we could show our approvals or disapprovals.

  • Creosote? May the saints preserve us. One slapper who does not need preserving and should rot away quietly.

  • Oh God, not this slag again.
    Why don't we just bring back the stocks for these has beens.
    It's a shame we don't hand out sentences still with hard labour, it would probably kill her if she broke a nail, she looks like she hasn't done a day's work in her life.
    Just another tired old tart, famous for being famous, and nothing else.

  • I hope she gets 6 months. She deserves it. I always thought she looked like she was on the Hokey Cokey.

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