Classic clangers from the last week
Confusing ‘whore’ and’ here’
A businessman standing at Euston Station was approached by a Chinese tourist who asked: “Where do you get whore?” The startled businessman answered: “I have no idea”. The Chinese man answered: “I is lost”. The businessman: “Ah, I see. I thought you wanted a prostitute”. The Chinese man went red and punched the other man.
You sad cow
A woman in the Eclipse bar in Walton Street to her female friend: “I didn’t have a relationship for five years and now I want one”. Her companion responded: “I’ve been single for eight years and I love it”. The first woman answered: “You sad cow”.
LA chicken
A British businessman at Aubaine in South Kensington: “I was vegetarian for over 10 years but when I was in LA, I ate chicken because it’s so healthy there”. “Really? No, I don’t think so”, responded his surprised companion. “The American food industry is the most unhealthy in the world. That’s the truth”. “You’re wrong”, said the chicken loving veggie: “LA chicken is just the dog’s bollocks”.
Tropically blonde
A conversation between two very tanned blondes at the Hospital for Tropical Diseases was overheard by one of our readers. Blonde 1: “I can’t believe I’m sitting an NHS waiting room”. Blonde 2: “At least everyone knows you’ve been somewhere exotic and tropical. They don’t treat just any common illness here”. Our source: “Absolutely girls. I contracted my parasite in Sussex”. Blonde 1: “Do you mean there’s a Sussex in Australia?”. Our source nearly choked.
Subscribe to our free once daily email newsletter here: