Saturday, June 19, 2021
HomeOPULENCE & SPLENDOUR

OPULENCE & SPLENDOUR

Cash Consuming Carbisdale Castle

Vast Scots Baronial mansion Carbisdale Castle – nicknamed ‘The Castle of Spite’ – goes on sale for sum 97% lower than it cost to build in the 1900s and 25% less than the sum spent on its 2010 renovation.

Bargaining Britain’s Northernmost Castle

Grade A listed freehold Scottish castle with cottages, barony title, gold and copper reserves and 240 acres of land goes to auction for just £130,000 just as plans for a space centre are announced in the vicinity.

Epstein Gets The Wrecking Ball

Wrecking ball sent in to destroy Prince Andrew’s paedo bestie Jeffrey Epstein’s £13.2 million Palm Beach mucky mansion.

Flattening a Fountain

Boxy “Town Hall classical style” dictator crib ‘The Fountains’ on infamous The Bishops Avenue, N2 for sale for £3 million less than it listed for in 2012; this time it is destined for flattening.

A BIG Bugatti

Theodora Ong lusts after a £1.55 million 2013 Bugatti Veyron Grand Sport that currently sports the registration plate ‘BIG 3’ – but could become ‘BUG 8’

The Spectre Shooting Brake

2015 Rolls-Royce Wraith converted to a ‘Spectre’ shooting brake by automotive genius Niels van Roij for sale for 157% more than it originally cost.

Wallies of the Week – Martin and Lesley Kipling

Aston Martin driving company director named Mr Kipling appeals to Prince Charles for “clemency” for UPVC conservatory added without planning permission to his Grade II listed home that John Profumo fled to in 1963; he doesn’t want to return to “lap tray suppers.”

Gone with the Wind (on a Bargain Basement Budget)

‘Antebellum style’ residence in Tennessee that looks like a ‘bargain basement budget’ ‘Gone with the Wind’ house for sale for just £128,000.

Murky Maxwell’s Property & PR Projects

As her brother takes to the airwaves to PR her on Radio 4, Ghislaine Maxwell’s sale of her “showgirl-hooker-esque” London townhouse for an astonishing sum 44% lower than it was marketed at is branded a “shenanigan.”

An English McMansion Monstrosity

Gargantuan Cheshire ‘McMansion’ once owned by a BBC Sports Personality turned tax fraudster for sale; it’s a monstrosity and beyond gaudy.

A Cut Cost Chapel

Detached partly converted Victorian chapel in quaint Hampshire village goes to auction for 25% less than it sold for in 2018; it seems like a bargain, but there is, of course, a “but”…

Lock Him Up 2021!

Ideal new ‘home’ for likely to be impeached Donald Trump for sale just as he prepares to leave office; it comes with its own jail – the perfect place to “lock him up!”

A Christmas Nightmare

“Mini castle” in Pennsylvania goes on sale in time for Christmas for 512% more than it sold for in 2000 in spite of its decoration being nightmare nasty.

Elvis & Epstein’s ‘Dictator Car’

1969 Mercedes-Benz 600 ‘Dictator Car’ sedan originally owned by Elvis Presley and currently by an Epstein is being sold by auction.

A Cottage or a Car Space?

Detached Georgian cottage in Wales goes on for sale for a sum 64% lower than a single parking space in a basement in Knightsbridge.

The World’s Worst McMansion – It’s So Bad, It’s Good

New Jersey ‘McMansion’ complete with Flintstone-esque pebbled bathrooms and gaudy grottos goes on sale for £1.65 million; it’s so bad, it’s good.

Steeply Priced Roof Space Slashed

Steeply-pitched, unused mansard roof space in Hampshire House, 150 Central Park South, New York heads to a slashed no reserve auction after failing to sell for £30.3 million.

Windowless in South Ken

Windowless property in Stanhope Gardens, South Kensington, SW7 goes to auction with a guide price of just £20,000; there is, of course, a catch.

Only Fools and Golf Cabriolets

1987 Volkswagen Golf GTI Karmann cabriolet – nicknamed ‘Rodney’ – previously owned by ‘Only Fools and Horses’ actor Sir David Jason to be auctioned. Sadly, of it, even Del Boy couldn’t claim: “Just one lady owner from new.”

Thinking 2022

Event promoter The Mansion London bizarrely gives up on the coming New Year and begins promoting an event to welcome in 2022 instead.

Epstein’s Final Exposure

Last portrait of Jeffrey Epstein goes on show as part of a very controversial exhibition in New York; in the image the late paedophile’s arrogant smugness is clearly exposed.

Going Bonkers For A Bin

Auctioneers Christie’s sought to sell five waste bins for £230; they ultimately went for the astounding sum of just under £34,000.

A Pyrotechnic Pad

Mansion in controversial compound in The Boltons, SW10 for sale for £50 million; the setting has seen court cases and pyrotechnic parties involving a self-declared “Relentless” multi-millionaire.

A Marvellous Party with Mrs Bucket

Dame Patricia Routledge’s rendition of ‘I’ve Been To A Marvellous Party’ for theatrical charities will most certainly lift your spirits.

Mocking The Dockers

Welsh ‘mock castle’ once occupied by notorious spendaholic Lady Docker for sale for £2.85m; the Dockers were turfed out in 1956 after it was discovered they’d lavished the equivalent of £1.3m today of company money on the place without permission.

A Socially Distanced Showcase

An invitation from businesswoman Heather Bird Tchenguiz to a socially distanced ‘by appointment’ exhibition of the works of William Cookson in Knightsbridge this September.

Five of the Worst – Undesirable Homes Currently For Sale

‘The Steeple Times’ selects five undesirable homes currently for sale that many would say would remain best avoided; they’ve all been in the news and they’re all connected to infamous names.

Chic Chicheley

Grade I listed Baroque mansion Chicheley Hall in Buckinghamshire for sale for £7 million or 62% less than the current owners have spent on it.

Georges Simenon’s ‘House of Happiness’

Tiny French pied à terre on the Côte d’Azur once owned by the ‘Maigret’ author Georges Simenon for sale for just £107,000; he described the property as his ‘house of happiness.’

A Hair of the Dog of a House

Detached Edwardian house in New York State for sale for just £744 or 8,400% less than it cost to build in 1906; home to a famous German police dog in the 1920s

A Mach 3 Fixer Upper

Charming detached Edwardian house in Buffalo, Kansas – the birthplace of the first man to beat Mach 3 – for sale for just £15,000; it comes with 0.5 acres of land, a barn and is in reasonable condition.

From Cloth Caps And Clogs to Sophistication

Reader of ‘The Steeple Times’ shares news that ‘up north’ is “no longer “just cloth caps and clogs” and illustrates this with information about the sale of her £1.5 million home Our readers are important...

Grosvenor Grabs The Ground Rent

Vast Belgravia artists’ studio goes on sale for just £1.3 million, but of course, there is a catch and that is the extortionate ground rent

A Grand Greek Revival

Grand Greek Revival mini-mansion in Illinois goes on sale for just £35 per square foot in spite of having been mostly renovated; it is situated within an area colonised by utopian Swedish Janssonists.

A Mini White House in Mississippi

Colonial Revival ‘Mini White House’ on an 8-acre plot in Mississippi for sale for just £299,000 or £56 per square foot; the mini mansion is listed on the National Register of Historic Places.

Cheaper Than Fiction – A Bargain in The Boltons

Cheapest, smallest house on the best side of one of London’s most sought after streets, The Boltons, comes up for sale; the tardis like building was home to novelist-politician Jeffrey Archer and his scientist wife Mary in the 1970s.

Mackintosh Icebergs

‘Iceberg home’ formed in part from the former Glebe Place, Chelsea, SW3 studios of Charles Rennie Mackintosh and his wife for sale for sum 1,178% higher than in 2012.

Moving On – July 2020 – Capone, Conran & Kennedy

Moving on homes owned by the newsworthy – including a country house apartment in a castle currently owned by Jasper Conran and the childhood homes of Al Capone and Jackie Kennedy.

Bigging-Up a Bargain Mini Mansion

‘Stately’ ‘Cape Cod style’ ‘mini mansion’ in North Carolina with 1.14 acres of land for sale for just £44,000; it is situated in a town that was the birthplace of the biggest ever American, a very fat and very tall man named Mills Darden.

Hooping A Half Price Mansion

Vast Edwardian mansion with basketball court in the roof in Watseka, Illinois for sale at half price it listed for in 2016; it’s on for just £20 per square foot.

A Demon Rolls-Royce

Rolls-Royce owned by “maverick” Demon Internet dot-com millionaire Cliff Stanford to be auctioned; his au pair was tragically murdered in Spain; he was convicted of “email spying” in a scandal featuring gerrymanderer Dame Shirley Porter.

Bonkers at Chelsea Barracks

Minute apartment in Chelsea Barracks with barely enough room to swing a cat goes on sale for the same price as a massive mansion in Shropshire with 102 acres.

The Art of Ownership – Glebe Place, Pugachev, Sickert & Tolstoy

Double artist’s studio in Glebe Place, Chelsea that has been home to a fugitive billionaire oligarch, a Tolstoy and a man suspected of being Jack the Ripper slashed in price by 25%; it is now subject to a forced sale.

Kingly Kinlet

Grand Grade I listed Shropshire mansion Kinlet Hall for sale after coronavirus forced the closure of its wedding venue and summer school. HRH Prince Anne has competed at horse trials in its parkland.

No Gaynes

Cambridgeshire mansion used by Special Operations Executives in the Second World War and as a borstal subsequently for sale; Gaynes Hall is next to the prison that housed Max Clifford and was briefly a cannabis farm in 2019.

Lavish Living and Little Owls at Lilford Hall

Crumbling Northamptonshire estate Lilford Hall – where the little owl was introduced to Britain – for sale for £10 million, a sum £35 million lower than in 2014.

Moving On – June 2020

Moving on homes owned by the newsworthy – including properties owned by society snapper Sir Cecil Beaton, novelist Jackie Collins and film producer-director Peter Minns.

Back on The Front

Coastal ‘estate’ with its own lighthouse perched on The Front above the White Cliffs of Dover in Kent for sale; it was used in scenes featuring Oliver Reed in ‘The Shuttered Room.’