Saturday, April 20, 2024

Influencers

Lettuce & Jam – Which’ll end up having lasted longer? The Liz Truss lettuce or Meghan Markle’s jam?

As meddling minx Meghan Markle gets mocked about her jaunt into jam and loopy lettuce-loathing loon Liz Truss gets mocked about bumbling like a buffoon about her book, Samantha Markle speaks exclusively to ‘The Steeple Times’ about her soppy, self-centred sister.

Heroine of the Hour 2023 – Matilda Walden

Matthew Steeples salutes home educated Matilda Walden, an impressive teenager whose enthusiasm knows no bounds and whose video about steeplejack Fred Dibnah is a must watch.

Morons of the Moment 2023 – Sex Fiend Stephen Bear & Grubby Girlfriend Jessica Smith

As shameless sex fiend Stephen Bear is deservedly jailed, it is shameful that his grubby girlfriend Jessica Smith continues to pile misery on his victim; here is a pair of gruesome grifters far worse than even the Duke and Duchess of Sussex.

Horror In The Hamptons… 2020 Coronavirus Crisis Ransackings v 2022 Cost-Of-Living Crisis Riots in This Ritzy Resort

Whilst the Hamptons was the scene of “bidding wars” and “supermarket spats” over £275 bottles of Chablis during the 2020 coronavirus crisis, it’s become the scene of socialites being arrested in “wife beaters” for assaulting “glampin’ workers” in the 2022 cost-of-living-crisis.

From ‘TwIt Girl’ to ‘InstaIdiot’ – Lady Victoria Hervey

Dumber than dumb non-entity Lady Victoria Hervey morphs from ‘TwIt Girl’ to ‘InstaIdiot’ in a series of Instagram posts about her mucky madam mate Ghislaine Maxwell; she charmingly labels one victim she doesn’t even know a “complete whore” and another she claims to actually know a “drug addict slut and a f*ck up.”

Friendless Fergie

Simpleton Sarah, Duchess of York “pauses” her unsurprisingly unpopular ‘Fergie & Friends’ YouTube channel as her increasingly friendless husband continues to face sexual assault allegations in New York.

Time Out MeGain

‘Time’ magazine’s decision to make ‘Cringe’ and ‘Ginge’ (AKA the Duke and Duchess of Sussex) their poster children is quite beyond cringeworthy.

Get Hateful Hopkins Out Of ‘Ere

That hateful Katie Hopkins has been deported from Australia isn’t surprising; her behaviour does highlight her hypocrisy In January, the self-declared “biggest bitch in England” Katie Hopkins joined the going nowhere political party that is...

Moron of the Moment 2021 – Richard Madeley

As the new Diana, Princess of Wales statue is mocked as looking like him, ‘Dorian Gray of Daytime Telly’ Richard Madeley pathetically claims he got PTSD due to worrying about his son’s wedding.

Scobie Orf!

‘MeGain’s’ bestie Omid Scobie deservedly gets slammed by ‘Yankee Wally’ Sadie Quinlan for getting her shut down on Twitter; this childish chap should now just ‘belt up, wrap up and shut up.’

Moron of the Moment 2021 – Joe Francis

Joe Francis, a “bestie” of the Kardashians, has yet again shown himself to be reprehensible in spitting over a woman with the aim of giving her Covid-19.

The Plotless Pillock Prince

Matthew Steeples suggests decidedly dim Prince Harry has well and truly lost the plot; he should heed the words of the equally ‘woke’ wally Lily Allen and finally “wind his neck in”

Questioning Barrymore

As Michael Barrymore is deservedly dragged in for questioning again, it is time that this friend of the late paedo Sir Jimmy Savile explained what REALLY went on when Stuart Lubbock was murdered at his then home in 2001.

Who REALLY is Henry Newman?

Whilst only a few newspapers have delved into his political past, we today ask: “Who REALLY is the bestie of Carrie Symonds and alleged ‘Chatty Rat’ Henry Newman?”

Courting Expletives

Extraordinary official civil judgment from the County Court at Manchester packed with expletives sums up the state of the nation; one is simply left wondering if potty mouthed Emma Rivers was trained by the creosoted napkin slapper Dawn Ward.

Mucky Maxwell & Meddling Madeley

EXCLUSIVE – Meddling Richard Madeley is an apologist for Ghislaine Maxwell suggests ‘The Steeple Times’ whilst his wife, of course, was criticised for her views on sexual abusers in 2014.

Website of the Week – Yankee Wally

Sadie Quinlan’s ‘Yankee Wally’ YouTube channel where she “plays by the rules” whilst exposing what she views to be the nefarious activities of the Duchess of Sussex is a must watch.

Cash & Rocket & Trafficking 2021

As alleged underage girl trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell’s brother bigs her up to the American media, Julie Brangstrup, the woman who organised the 2019 Cash & Rocket car rally the mucky madam joined in on unbelievably announces she’s fundraising for trafficked women.

The MeGain & Randy Show

It’s time for the ‘MeGain & Randy Show’… As dopey dipstick Diane Abbott MP sticks her gumboots into the fallout of the Duchess of Sussex’s car crash interview, the scandalous Prince Andrew should again be called to answer questions.

Costly Carrie

The extravagance of Carrie Symonds plainly knows no bounds; what ‘Costly Carrie’ wants, cost unconscious puppet mistress Carrie gets.

Fergie Goes Potty

Sarah, Duchess of York gets overexcited about a potty on YouTube, yet fails to address what went on in mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell’s bathtub in 2001.

Mystery Meg

‘Daily Star’ hilariously mocks the Duchess of Sussex and in doing so turns her into ‘Mystery Meg’ Yesterday, the Daily Mail’s Richard Eden tweeted to share the best of the coverage of the former Meghan...

Farting Fergie

Sarah Ferguson gets overexcited over a farting book, but still hasn’t declared if she’s repaid a loan from paedo Jeffrey Epstein.

Post-Pandemic Pillock Alexa Chung

Fashion fruitcake Alexa Chung arrogantly announces that she has no interest in anything other than “endless parties” in “post-pandemic” times.