Friday, January 15, 2021
Home MOVERS & SHAKERS

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Distraction Dawn

Deranged dope Dawn Ward uses the ‘distraction technique’ by quitting ‘Real Housewives of Cheshire’ as she faces a trial for racism and cocaine possession.

Moron of the Moment – Alexa Chung

Self-declared “human” Alexa Chung’s fashion business unsurprisingly flops; the “stuck-up socialite’s” company is supposedly very deservedly “in tatters.”

Wally of the Week – Mike Alan

“International magician” Mike Alan goes mental with a cucumber after alleging a “razor sharp” M&S shelf “savaged” his coat and left him “looking like a snowman.”

Tempestuous Teenage Swarm Savages SW3

Swarm of tempestuous teenagers descend on Brompton Road, SW3 and end up in a maskless face-off with 200 police officers.

Greedy Green Goes Red

As ‘The Sun’ quite rightly rebrands Tina Green ‘Lady Greed,’ we join those demanding this creep cough up before Christmas; why should...

Heroine of the Hour – Micheline Stephen

Ninety-year-old daily martini drinker Micheline Stephen of Cupar, Scotland is to be saluted for grabbing a robber and calling him “a wee sh*te.”

The Calamities Carrie On

Ghislaine Maxwell was involved in the charity Carrie Symonds works for; Dominic Cummings’ nemesis also has an ex-lover with links to Russia and the far right, racist Traditional Britain Group.

Sutcliffe Won’t Be Missed

As serial killer Peter Sutcliffe dies, ‘The Steeple Times’ invites readers to submit their nominations for the best and worst people of 2020 – he’ll definitely be joining ‘The Ones Who Won’t Be Missed.”

Bathtub Bonkers

As a poll in ‘The Sun’ reveals 89% of participants do not want to see alleged bathtub shagger Prince Andrew return to public duty, his batshit bonkers ex-wife makes what she calls ‘bathtub teddies.’

Dirty Dawn Can’t Take the Heat of the Coke

Dirty Dawn strikes again – Attention seeker and alleged racist and coke possessor Dawn Ward proves she cannot cope with a bit of truthful press attention.

A Coked-Up Cheshire Cat

Notorious prosecco “gag reflexer” and Sinitta “napkin slapper” Dawn Ward resurfaces; the Cheshire cat has been charged with racial abuse and coke...

Schofe Banned

As Phillip Schofield’s book is banned from sale in Wales, we ask: “Did the temperamental telly host ‘Schofe’ have another meltdown as...

Mucky Madam Maxwell Unsealed

Matthew Steeples selects some of the most telling and cringeworthy remarks from the newly unsealed 2016 Ghislaine Maxwell deposition.

Wally of the Week – Phillip Schofield

Tempestuous television presenter Phillip Schofield bizarrely claims to have been murdered in a past life because of a debt.

No. 2 - Randy Andy’s Last Stamp

As the Queen stops selling postcards featuring Prince Andrew, an online card printer has started selling ones of the late Jeffrey Epstein’s friend ‘Randy Andy’ with a rather controversial caption.

No. 3 - Sorry Hopkins

After Katie Hopkins was forced to say “sorry” to Finsbury Park Mosque, she should now be sent to where she belongs – social media’s equivalent of Siberia.

No. 10 - Crackpot Cliff Can Still Breathe

‘The Daily Mail’ gets over enthusiastic in sharing news of creepy crackpot crooner Sir Cliff Richard’s new album, ‘Music… The Air That I Breathe’ whilst only 18 fans react on YouTube.

Rotten Reeking Rolf Returns

As Rolf Harris is spotted pounding the pavements in soiled clothing, the public must be reminded that this paedo pest is still nothing but a mucky monster.

The Collapse of The Clown

Despite all of Dominic Cummings’ efforts Boris Johnson is morphing into the most miserable Prime Minister of modern times; how much longer will the blubbering buffoon ‘Bosie The Clown’ last?

Neighbours from Hell

As Priti Patel is slammed by her neighbours as a ‘snitch,’ the Duke and Duchess of Sussex are voted “the famous couple Brits would least like to live next door to” along with Boris Johnson and Kerry Katona.

Mother Maxwell

Matthew Steeples suggests Jeffrey Epstein treated Ghislaine Maxwell like a “mother figure.”

Wally of the Week – Lady Green

BHS bandit Sir Philip Green’s wife’s bleating about being stuck on her yacht in Monaco is nothing but pathetic; Lady Green plainly has no comprehension of how out of touch she truly is with reality.

Wishing Saddam for $20

Silly season stupidity sends Saddam Hussein being “sold” for $20 on Wish.com viral on Twitter.

The Hotel Detective and his Lover

Hotel legend Derek Picot’s novel ‘The Hotel Detective and his Lover’ is a perfect easy read for those wishing to enjoy quirky hotel land.

Mad Maxwell

Ghislaine Maxwell revealed to be not only a mucky madam, but also shown as a woman whom gets mad and bangs tables.

Meddling MeGain

With even the ‘Observer’ turning on the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, it is time for the meddling pair to learn the...

Ghastly Ghislaine

Ghastly mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell is not doing herself any favours in moaning about her new living arrangements in prison.

Rich Covidiot Superspreaders

As the ‘silly season’ begins, the überwealthy are getting out-of-hand in terms of behaving ridiculously; rich covidiots must learn to behave.

MeGain’s Media Muckup

The Duchess of Sussex has well and truly failed in her attempt to manipulate both the media and the public; Prince Charles must now intervene.

Finding Attention (MeGain Style)

Most commentators have missed the point about the Duchess of Sussex suggests Matthew Steeples; she has a single thing on her agenda...

Fergie Does Porridge

As the Duchess of York makes a fool of herself retching over a bowl of porridge in a blonde wig, one has to question why nobody reins this imbecile in; Fergie should ideally learn the art of silence.

Wally of the Week – Dame Vivienne Westwood

Fruitcake Dame Vivienne Westwood behaves as normal during a BBC News interview and declares the media “morons.”

Taking Down Randy Andy

As Richard Kay declares that “Prince Andrew’s fall is now complete and Virginia Giuffre demands he be “taken down,” it is time the randy non-sweater answered the FBI’s questions.

The Cat That Lost The Maxwell Cream

The story of what happened to Ghislaine Maxwell’s cat after her arrest is too ludicrous for words.

A Life in a Sentence

Matthew Steeples finds amusement in Twitter handles; a life in a sentence can be found on some of the best profiles.

Will Ghislaine Maxwell Motor On?

As a poll reveals the public believe Ghislaine Maxwell will ‘suicide herself’ in a similar manner to her former master Jeffrey Epstein, the Cash & Rocket ‘charity’ unbelievably announce they are going ahead with another rally in 2021.

Remembering Jeffrey Epstein Albuquerque Style

Statue of late billionaire sex beast Jeffrey Epstein mysteriously appears outside City Hall in Albuquerque, New Mexico (and is promptly removed by officials).

Observing Ambridge

Whilst one ‘Observer’ reader suggests Alan Bennett writes the monologues that have replaced normal episodes of ‘The Archers,’ another demands a return to standard broadcasts about Ambridge life.

Moron of the Moment – Lady Victoria Hervey

Just as ultimate dumbo Lady Victoria Hervey shows herself up in stating: “Fuck Black Lives Matter,” fellow aristocrat Dr. Bendor Grosvenor calls for the return of objects “looted during the British Empire.”

Clickbait Crazy

White woman Kris Schatzel caught posing with a ‘Black Lives Matter’ sign in a “slutty” outfit is exposed as a clickbait crazy ‘Protest Barbie.’

Moron of the Moment – Dan Wootton

Dominic Cummings mouthpiece Dan Wootton yet again shows himself to be a bit of a berk in attacking both ‘Tatler’ and Sir Keir Starmer in one hit in his column in ‘The Sun.’

Wally of the Week – Stephanie Pratt

Shoplifter Stephanie Pratt fulfils her prattish surname in urging urges cops to shoot shoplifters.

A Really Useful Angelis

Matthew Steeples remembers the Liverpudlian actor and voice of ‘Thomas & Friends’ Michael Angelis (18th January 1952 – 30th May 2020).

Mixed Up McGee

Dippy Debbie McGee yet again confirms her status as the ultimate airhead in boasting about her connections to ‘Randy Andy’ and is met with a denial from a royal source.

Moron of the Moment – Olivia Utley

Rent-a-gob stand-in for Rod Liddle at ‘The Sun’ Olivia Utley shows herself to be nothing but a big-mouthed berk in brainlessly banging...

Heroine of the Hour – Lorraine Kelly

In suggesting obese people slim to avoid death by coronavirus Lorraine Kelly is spot on; she’s also right about Harry and MeGain

Wally of the Week – Vanessa Branson

At a time when her billionaire brother Sir Richard is deservedly taking a pounding for trying to rape the state, multi-millionairess Vanessa...

It’s Just Awful Being Alexa

Self-absorbed Alexa Chung isn’t worrying about people dying from coronavirus; she’s too busy moaning about people not focusing on the real her

SUBSCRIBE

    FOLLOW US

    2,531FansLike
    2,068FollowersFollow
    10,739FollowersFollow
    0SubscribersSubscribe

    Recent comments