Sir Shifty Returns to Zero


As Arcadia looks set to go under today, ‘Sir Shifty’ Philip Green will deservedly become this season’s pantomime villain

This morning in the Guardian, a “veteran retail analyst” named Richard Hyman declared of ‘Sir Shifty’ Philip Green: “He’s gone from zero to hero, and now it looks like he’s going back to zero again.”


Sadly, why that outcome would be very much deserved for a man the legendary actor-writer-producer Steven Berkoff termed “a cross between Shylock and Al Capone” in this very publication, on the day that his retail empire likely goes under, this rotten rat and his sleazy scumbag family will retain their £100 million yacht just as 13,000 people will likely lose their jobs.


Whilst Sir Philip turned down his arch rival Mike Ashley’s offer of a “£50 million lifeline” to keep Arcadia out of administration – with a spokesman for the fat fool telling The Sun on Saturday: “It’s laughable… Sir Philip is not keen to jump into bed with a chancer” – it is now once again time to remind our government of what should really come next.


As the video below proves, Sir Philip Green is not a man of good personal character and in addition he is also not a businessman of sterling quality. This brash braggart and his tax avoiding wench of a wife should be stripped of their ill-gotten titles and they should now finally be told to bog off to super yachting Siberia. Forever.


Pictured top: Sir Philip Green once thought it funny to wander around in a T-shirt emblazoned with: “Phil Says Relax.” He must now be condemned for causing the Christmases of 13,000 families to be anything but relaxed. Shame on him.


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Sir Shifty Returns to Zero – Looking as if he didn’t care in the world and wearing scummy white socks, beached whale Sir Philip Green sprawled his colossal belly out on the deck of his £100 million super yacht. According to ‘The Sun,’ the shameless tycoon supposedly will Christmas with a £30,000 per night getaway whilst “13,000 of his staff face the sack.”
Sir Shifty Returns to Zero – “Shylock crossed with Al Capone-esque” Sir Philip Green, his title obsessed wife Tina and well-known village bike of a daughter, Chloe.
Sir Shifty Returns to Zero – A bit like bum slapping, sex offending ex-Tory MP Charlie Elphicke, rotten rat Sir Philip Green likes a bit of a grope and fondle whilst shouting: “I’ve got Naughty.”
Matthew Steeples
A graduate of the London School of Economics, Matthew Steeples is a writer and marketing consultant. He conceived The Steeple Times as a media arena to fill the void between the Mail Online, The Huffington Post and such organs as the New York Social Diary in 2012.


  1. Am I being naive … but if he’s worth £930 million, as they say, why not use some of it to cover the money needed? Ok, he may not have it in ready cash, but the banks will lend him the money with his assets as collateral. We’re talking 13,000 jobs here, Phil.

    1) However much he’s ACTUALLY worth, is it ALL off shore? 2) And besides, he doesn’t seem to give a shit about the 13,000 staff

  2. What a sleazy fat slop, he reminds me of Mr Creosote, in Monty Python’s, The meaning of life.
    How the F#%k does somebody like him get a title??
    Assholes like him should be stripped of their wealth, and made to pay their debts, even if they have it all tied up off shore. Take his British passport and UK assets until all his ex workers are paid their dues, it’s that simple. Why should the taxpayer now have to support his 13000 workers because he wants to sail off into the sunset, without paying up?
    I hope he has a great xmas, NOT.
    PS: His wife looks a real dog, ruff ruff, and the daughter, a right scrubber. I’m surprised captain Rod hasn’t made his usual comment, ” Do not send down under”

  3. Put a hammer round the faces of the lot of them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Crooks!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do not allow them Down Under!!!!!!!!!!! We had crims in the past, but these shits cannot shit for Sheila!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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