Friday, January 15, 2021

Latest Editorial from The Steeple Times

MacBook Maxwell – Ghislaine Maxwell demands laptop 7 days per week – Ghislaine Maxwell’s lawyers demand she gets access to a laptop seven days per week; one can assume she’ll expect a ritzy MacBook Pro.

MacBook Maxwell

Moron of the Moment – Shaun Bailey – Out-of-touch Tory wazzock – Pontificating pillock Shaun Bailey proves himself unfit to be Mayor of London after curiously claiming impoverished homeless people can and should save £5,000 to get a home.

Moron of the Moment – Shaun Bailey

Pontificating pillock Shaun Bailey proves himself unfit to be Mayor of London after curiously claiming impoverished homeless people can and should save £5,000 to get a home.
Theresa The Tea Leaf – Theresa May accused of being a tea leaf – Tea leaf Theresa May lookalike goes on the rampage in Hereford and robs a purse; at least she didn’t grab ‘The Donald’s’ hand.

Theresa The Tea Leaf

Tea leaf Theresa May lookalike goes on the rampage in Hereford and robs a purse; at least she didn’t grab ‘The Donald’s’ hand this time round (or have to share a curry with rotten paedo Rolf Harris).
Advertisement

SUBSCRIBE for FREE daily news

    Please subscribe and share this site, it really helps us grow and become better.  Your data is safe and secure, The Steeple Times will send a single email to you personally at noon each day.

    FOLLOW US

    2,531FansLike
    2,068FollowersFollow
    10,739FollowersFollow
    129SubscribersSubscribe

    EDITORIAL

    Editorial comment from Matthew Steeples

    Help the Homeless in Lockup 3.0

    Matthew Steeples suggests the government has made progress with its decision to help the homeless in the UK during ‘Lockup 3.0’ – but it must go further.

    Lockup Lunacy

    Matthew Steeples condemns the government’s slapdash decision to lockup most of Britain (other than estate agents) once again as ludicrous.

    Archewell OFF!

    Matthew Steeples suggests the best thing to do with the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s Archewell Audio ‘Holiday Special’ on Spotify is to turn it off.

    THE ROLL CALL

    A list of influence

    OBSERVERS

    No. 2 - Barbara Smoker (1923 – 2020)

    A promoter of “causes many of us now take for granted,” Catford born campaigner and humanist activist Barbara Smoker believed in surviving “on her...

    No. 1 - Emily Bolton

    A Shackleton Award winning campaigner who “fights miscarriages of justice and demands reform,” practicing solicitor Emily Bolton is married to Reprieve founder and one...

    No. 2 - Jessica Jackson Sloan (born Jessica Hurst)

    Born in Alabama in 1982, Jessica Jackson Sloan has morphed from a high-school dropout with a baby and a drug addict, jailbird husband in...

    No. 3 - Dame Louise Casey DBE, CB

    In 2018, Tony Blair’s former ‘homelessness tsar’ Dame Louise Casey “blasted” Theresa May’s government as anything but “kind.” A former director of Shelter and...

    PERSONALITIES

    No. 1 - Luke Durbin

    Luke Durbin from Hollesley, near Woodbridge went missing aged just 19 after a night out with friends in Ipswich. After after being unable to...

    No. 2 - Steve Cotten (AKA ‘Britain’s Grumpiest Landlord’)

    Alongside a cat (yes, a cat) named ‘(Frederick Albert) Hitler’ as his barman, the landlord of the “maddest pub in Britain” Steve Cotten is...

    No. 5 - Alan Holmes (1943 – 1996)

    Attacked for just £1,000 in his own home in Parkway, Camden, NW1 on Christmas Day 1995, Derry born police mechanic Alan Holmes was left...

    No. 2 - Mike Posner

    Detroit born singer-songwriter Mike Posner became best known after the remixed version of I Took A Pill In Ibiza went viral. Whilst that single...

    CREATIVES

    No. 2 - Susie Steiner

    “I’m sorry I still love him” unabashedly declared author, journalist and “stationary addict” Susie Steiner of Tony Blair on Twitter during the coronavirus lockdown...

    No. 1 - Michael Russell (1933 – 2020)

    Described in The Telegraph’s obituary of him as a “publisher, wit and author,” Michael Russell is best known for writing the spoof memoirs of...

    No. 1 - Evelyn McHale (1923 – 1947)

    Little is known about what drove Evelyn McHale to jump from the Empire State Building and be captured in the “most beautiful suicide ...

    No. 1 - Dame Dorothy Tutin DBE (1930 – 2001)

    A resident of a Chelsea houseboat named ‘Undine’ from 1953, Dame Dorothy Tutin was “one of UK’s most versatile actresses” and someone whom “bridged...

    BUSINESS

    No. 1 - Penny Streeter OBE (née Penny Stiff)

    A classic ‘rags to riches’ tale is that of Penny Streeter. Born in what was then Rhodesia, this police superintendent’s daughter came to England...

    No. 2 - Lawrence Stroll (born Lawrence Strulovitch)

    Montreal born “archetypal billionaire,” “fashion mogul” and “Ferrari fanatic” Lawrence Stroll arranged £536 million of funding to save Aston Martin, much of which came...

    No. 1 - Sarah Winchester (née Pardee, 1839 – 1922)

    New Haven, Connecticut born Sarah Winchester became one of the wealthiest women in the world after the death of her Winchester Repeating Arms Company...

    No. 2 - Hetty Green (AKA Henrietta Green, ‘The Witch of Wall Street,’ née Henrietta Robinson, 1834 – 1916)

    “The greatest miser” and “richest woman in America” during the Gilded Age, Hetty Green lived by the rule of “buy cheap and sell dear.”...
    Advertisment

    Editorial comment from Matthew Steeples

    Help the Homeless in Lockup 3.0

    Matthew Steeples suggests the government has made progress with its decision to help the homeless in the UK during ‘Lockup 3.0’ – but it must go further.

    Lockup Lunacy

    Matthew Steeples condemns the government’s slapdash decision to lockup most of Britain (other than estate agents) once again as ludicrous.

    Archewell OFF!

    Matthew Steeples suggests the best thing to do with the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s Archewell Audio ‘Holiday Special’ on Spotify is to turn it off.

    Luxury and the arts

    Lock Him Up 2021!

    Ideal new ‘home’ for likely to be impeached Donald Trump for sale just as he prepares to leave office; it comes with its own jail – the perfect place to “lock him up!”

    A Christmas Nightmare

    “Mini castle” in Pennsylvania goes on sale in time for Christmas for 512% more than it sold for in 2000 in spite of its decoration being nightmare nasty.

    Elvis & Epstein’s ‘Dictator Car’

    1969 Mercedes-Benz 600 ‘Dictator Car’ sedan originally owned by Elvis Presley and currently by an Epstein is being sold by auction.

    A ranked assembly of individuals of note along with details of their achievements and quirks.

    No. 1 - Luke Durbin

    Luke Durbin from Hollesley, near Woodbridge went missing aged just 19 after a night out with friends in Ipswich. After after being unable to...

    No. 1 - Penny Streeter OBE (née Penny Stiff)

    A classic ‘rags to riches’ tale is that of Penny Streeter. Born in what was then Rhodesia, this police superintendent’s daughter came to England...

    No. 2 - Steve Cotten (AKA ‘Britain’s Grumpiest Landlord’)

    Alongside a cat (yes, a cat) named ‘(Frederick Albert) Hitler’ as his barman, the landlord of the “maddest pub in Britain” Steve Cotten is...

    The snakes and ladders of society

    Theresa The Tea Leaf

    Tea leaf Theresa May lookalike goes on the rampage in Hereford and robs a purse; at least she didn’t grab ‘The Donald’s’ hand this time round (or have to share a curry with rotten paedo Rolf Harris).

    Hero of the Hour – Andy from Argos

    Grimsby resident takes with good humour someone attaching an Argos sign to his house on New Year’s Day whilst journalist reporting story of it goes all Miss Marple.

    Wally of the Week – Thomas Dodd (AKA Céline Dion)

    That the ‘Mirror’ focused on the non-story of a man changing his name to Céline Dion to start 2021 is beyond ridiculous.
    Advertisement

    Food, drink and fine dining

    A Chelsea Essential

    Management of Fulham Road Italian The Chelsea Corner share their anger at the British government with protest posters against Lockup 3.0 and restaurants being branded “non-essential.”

    Dry January 2021 CANCELLED

    At a time of lockup lunacy in early 2021, the last thing we need is the marketing nonsense that is ‘Dry January’ forced upon us; instead, celebrate #DryGinuary.

    Pampered Peers Prattle About Avocados

    Avocados and a “lack of British chefs in the kitchens” get the goat of out-of-touch British peers just as Norman Fowler calls for their numbers to be cut.

    From playing the field to buying a team

    Moron of the Moment 2021 – Karren Brady

    Poundland muckspreader Karren Brady desperately seeks attention by bleating that men are “sexist” against her; Lady Brady brought up a story from years ago proving she has utterly nothing new to say.

    Runners & Riders – Welsh Grand National 2020

    ‘The Steeple Times’ examines the tipsters’ selections and offers a couple of options for the rescheduled Welsh Grand National 2020 at Chepstow – as well as a 66/1 each way option with 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 place possibilities at Kempton.

    Hippo Harridan 2021 – Larysa Switlyk

    Not content with butchering bears, barbarian bitch Larysa Switlyk headed to Africa to harm hippos; this harridan must be stopped and banned from Instagram also.

    The economy, politics and current affairs

    Moron of the Moment – Shaun Bailey

    Pontificating pillock Shaun Bailey proves himself unfit to be Mayor of London after curiously claiming impoverished homeless people can and should save £5,000 to get a home.

    Bombastic Basham Bashes Back

    Brian Basham, PR peddler for mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell, suggests ‘Hunting Ghislaine’ podcast host John Sweeney is a drunk and someone he “despises.”

    Grotesque Ghislaine Grubbily Groans

    As grotesque Ghislaine Maxwell is deservedly denied bail, PR peddler Brian Basham bizarrely drones on about China and “show trials” whilst author Don Winslow references the pressure now placed on Donald Trump.
    Advertisement

    The comings and goings of the entrepreneurial classes

    Sorry is the Shiftiest Word

    ‘Sir Shifty’ Philip Green’s sister tells him to man up and say sorry over the Arcadia collapse debacle; the chubby chump will likely ignore her.

    Blow-Up The Donald 2021

    Auction to blow-up Donald Trump in 2021 commences online for charity; the opportunity to implode is expected to sell for £375,000 and porn star Stormy Daniels is trying to get involved.

    Jobsworth Jenrick Props Up Property

    Jobsworth Robert Jenrick announces estate agents CAN take potential virus spreaders into peoples’ homes even in Tier 4 lockdown areas; a QUARTER of donations to the Tory party come from the property sector.

    Science, technology and gadgets

    MacBook Maxwell

    Mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell’s lawyers demand she gets access to a laptop seven days per week; one can assume she’ll expect a ritzy MacBook Pro.

    Erecting a C(l)ock

    WARNING: EXPLICIT – Chi-chi auction house auction smutty Benny Hill-esque novelty automotive clock; it’ll be erecting a lot of interest.

    A Defender Desk

    As more and more people work from home, how about an unusual desk? Jaguar Land Rover have made one out of a Defender and it’ll set you back a pretty penny.
    Advertisement